Temporal-Spatial Heroics, Complete With Insanity
by LadyAdriander
Summary: Basically, some of the characters switch roles, with some more Really Bad Events, so the characters can be explainably not conventionally sane.
1. Prologue

Author's Note for the Whole Entire Story: ' _Italics,'_ Kazuha Toyama, the elementary school detective thought.=thoughts. This story skips bits that I do not really know how to write. Please review, as reviews are chicken soup for the fanfic writer's soul and help me write more and fix things so that they make more sense, however, all flames will be fed to Akako's extremely tiny Ice Cat (more of an Ice Kitten, in actuality) to make it more resistant to being hurt by fire, which will then freeze you to death. Or drive you insane. Or both at once, which is an extremely scary thing to think about. Also, I do not own Wizard101, Magic Kaito, Detective Conan, or Doctor Who.

The Prologue:

A Very Loose Summary of the Prologue: In which younger versions of all of the main cast of characters are introduced (and some of the just-introduced side cast of characters die for the sake of advancing the plot), so you can see why they act the way that they do.

Author's Note: Certain of the characters are extremely out of character and have a rather non-canon appearance (for plot-related reasons), I know that I have given the characters the wrong birthdays, and I know that Akako and Saguru probably did not know each other as children, but it is called _fanfiction_ for a reason. If I say 'the detective,' unless I add an adjective before it, I mean Kaito Kuroba. If I say 'the beautiful detective' I mean Akako Koizumi, who Saguru Hakuba has a crush on and vice versa.

The very highly brilliant magician-in-training Saguru Delwyn Hakuba, five years, eleven months, thirty days old, seventeen hours and a few seconds, was definitely not at his triplet brother Touzoku William Hakuba's birthday party at sixteen o'clock sharp on a twenty-four-hour clock. Saguru was twenty minutes younger than Touzoku and was born exactly at midnight, at the _exact_ moment that Halloween (October thirty-first) started. He had black hair and storm-colored eyes, though after his brother's death his hair turned silver over a period of three months, two week, and four days _precisely_ (the reason that he wanted to be a magician because his grandfather was a magician and he idolized his grandfather very, very much). He was talking to his best friend since the cradle, Akako Ryona Koizumi (who was _exactly_ one month, three days, and one hour younger than him and had vermilion hair and viridian eyes), as they had asked her grandfather to go to the library with them because they were Arsene Lupin fans, not Sherlock Holmes fans, and Touzoku and Saguru tended to have frequent arguments about whether Sherlock Holmes or Arsene Lupin were better, Kazuha (the third triplet) would take always Touzoku's side on this and Akako would always take Saguru's. Both Touzoku and Saguru agreed completely and totally that the fact that the one whose name meant 'thief' was a Sherlock Holmes fan (for the most part due to the fact that his godfather, Yuusaku Kudo, who was a detective and mystery novelist, had given him every single Sherlock Holmes book for his fourth Christmas on Earth) and the one whose name could be read as 'detective' was an Arsene Lupin fan ( _that_ was partially due to Saguru's godfather Touichi Kuroba having given him every single Arsene Lupin book for his fourth birthday and partially due to the fact that the Kaitou Kid, who was an extremely brilliant magician and a highly gifted thief, was referred to by some of the newspapers as the modern Arsene Lupin) was a bit ironic. Especially if you pause and consider who Saguru later became.

When Saguru was dropped off at home home from the library (Akako having gone home with her grandfather, because she had apparently caught the flu), he saw Touzoku being murdered, and, understanding that a child cannot hope to stop two adults from doing anything because of his genius-level intellect, hid until they went away. Yes, Saguru watched his triplet brother get murdered knowing _**that he could not do anything about it**_. _No wonder_ he chose a course in life calculated to bring the Black Organization (the shadowy organization that his brother's killers were a part of) to justice, even if _he_ had to go to prison in the end for it (read: becoming the phantom thief known as Quicksilver, partially under his godfather's tutelage). He also wrote a _very_ tragic novel in an attempt to channel his grief in an at least _fairly_ constructive manner, but it did not work. The fact that he was writing a book while going to college, at the age of _six_ , with his best friend (who has been mentioned before), _and_ on top of all that he had become a kaitou (phantom thief), always returning what he stole, so that he could flush out the shadowy organization that had his triplet brother murdered explains _part_ of why his hair went silver as well as showing the stress that he was under as a child.

When she heard that the aspiring detective Touzoku Hakuba had been killed one day, seven hours and seventeen minutes exactly after it happened, Akako Koizumi cried one, single, solitary tear, before regaining her extremely-high-for-a-five-and-three-quarters-year-old level of composure because, while she had not really _liked_ him all that much (as he was a diehard and _extremely_ fanatical Sherlock Holmes fanboy, whereas she was an avid Arsene Lupin fan), he had definitely not deserved to die on his own birthday, or at all, especially that young, and she knew him, as she was best friends with his brother. That was enough. She no longer had the potential to become a witch of the red magic, because she had shed a tear. She decided that she would become a detective, because she wanted to help people, and helping people get justice is helping their families at least, right? And she became known all over time and space as the Viridian Detective.

About two years later:

The elementary-school detective Kaito Kuroba was an extremely avid Sherlock Holmes fan, so he wore Sherlock Holmes cosplay to most of his cases (the coat was also a hang glider, just in case someone pushed him off a building). A very highly intelligent and extremely avid Sherlock Holmes fan, aged somewhere close to eight and a half (he does not keep track of time in _quite_ the scarily precise manner that Saguru does, or anything that is anywhere close to it), his father, Touichi Kuroba, was a brilliant magician, however, Kaito had a slightly frighteningly severe (to _certain_ individuals, his father among them, of course) tendency to try to analyze his father's tricks to try to figure them out, which always would make his father ruffle his hair fondly and irritatingly (to Kaito) and say, "A master magician's secrets cannot be analyzed anywhere _close_ to successfully except for by another magician, Kaito, and sometimes not even then are the analysts even anywhere close to being successful. And I thought that you wanted to be a detective?"

"I _already_ _am_ a detective, a fairly good one, if I _do_ say so myself, but yes, Father, I really _do_ want to continue being a detective, very much so in fact. As being a detective is my passion and my life's work. And, Father, you certainly _know_ that I really, really do not like people touching my hair at all, or in any way, shape, or form, which is the reason why I really, really wish that I was able to cut my own hair already," Kaito would say every single time his father said and did the above.

"Then could you _please_ stop trying to analyze my tricks, Kaito, my son?" his father said extremely exasperatedly when this conversation happened on the morning before his extremely tragic and nonaccidental demise (read: murder).

"I can try. But what if I come up against a criminal who uses magic tricks to execute and get away with his crimes?" Kaito asked.

"Are you talking about the Kaitou Kid, Kaito?"

"No, as he is an extremely nonviolent criminal and _most_ of my cases so far have been murders. What if a severely deranged criminal decides to use magic tricks to kill, to spread fear instead of joy? What if the Kaitou Kid goes insane and starts murdering innocent people? Those are some of the things that go around inside my nightmares, Father. And I might be a little paranoid, but I think that with all the things that I have seen, at the age that I have seen them, it is a justifiable paranoia." Kaito Kuroba, the Falcon Detective of Japan, said in his most extremely serious tone of voice, which really _should_ have sounded comical or ridiculous on an eight-year-old but managed not to one single bit, probably because Touichi Kuroba knew very, _very_ well (due to one of the people that Kaito got put into prison breaking out of prison and attempting to kill him when he was seven, last year at this point in time, actually) that his son Kaito had seen some _very_ gruesome murders, since he had been a detective since he was five-and-a-half, and he for the most part at this point worked on murder cases, due to their being an absence of good detectives in this part of Tokyo, let alone detectives of Kaito's caliber.

"You should probably get ready for school now, Kaito, as if you don't you will probably miss the bus and be late."

"Okay, Father," Kaito said and went to go get ready for his school day. He was summoned out of class somewhere around halfway through the school day to work on a murder case (which was _not_ his father's), and managed to solve it accurately within half an hour.

When he heard about his father's demise, he asked his mother if he could look at the scene of the accident. After he investigated the scene, he knew that his father was murdered, however, neither he nor the police could not figure out just how his father had been murdered or who had murdered him. He usually worked on theft cases for all the years afterward, because dead bodies of murder victims tended to make him think about his father's murder. He was capable of dealing with it, but even the most inept and idiotic members of the police could see that it was cruel to make him deal with that on a regular basis, especially as he was just a _child_ , which was very, very much evidenced by his habit of wearing Sherlock Holmes cosplay everywhere _but_ to his school (he did not wear Sherlock Holmes cosplay or anything that looked remotely like it to his father's funeral, because he loved his father very, very much, even more than he loved being a detective), and the _only_ reason that he did not wear Sherlock Holmes cosplay to school was because there was a school uniform, which the coat does not fit _at all_. The coat in his slightly faded and very-much-beloved Sherlock Holmes costume had a hang glider, because Kaito is more than a bit paranoid. But not anywhere close to as paranoid as Quicksilver is, fortunately for Quicksilver's secret identity. Another thing that accounts for that is Quicksilver's ability to escape any pair of handcuffs ever made by anyone, even the Time Lords.

Aoko Nakamori, aged eight and some change, heard about Kaito's father's murder while she was reading a book about magic, and she managed not to cry through sheer determination to at least have the chance to learn magic. Thus she learned the blue magic and became the Blue Witch. And later tried to cause Saguru to fall in love with her. But _that_ is in another chapter.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One: The Phantom Thief Quicksilver Returns to Japan (takes place about ten years after Kaito and Aoko's part of the prologue):

Very Loose Chapter Summary: Our main cast of characters are shown in the story's more-than-slightly crazed present (which time travel makes into 'relative present'), at last. Saguru (our heroic phantom thief protagonist with a very tragic backstory) is Quicksilver, Akako (our token _relative_ innocent [who in fact _saw her parents die before her eyes_ , which Saguru does not know, though he _does_ know that her parents were murdered, which the rest of the world does not even suspect] who is secretly a detective with a crush on Saguru) is _totally_ clueless to this fact, they both have their first day as transfer students in Aoko and Kaito's class and disrupt class, Kaito Kuroba (who is known to the newspapers and magazines, the news stations on television and the radio, and his very highly crazed and equally as rabid _legions_ of fangirls and fanboys as the Falcon Detective of Japan) is out solving a theft case ( _very_ highly brilliantly and extremely arrogantly), Aoko Nakamori (also known as the Blue Witch) has a really bad case of the flu, the very highly brilliant-but-suffering-from-PTSD teacher Ms. Keoko Yamada cannot stop being what she used to be, and there is broom-violence galore. Well, maybe not **precisely** _galore_ , but you get the point, _right_?

Author's Note: This chapter is a cross between the second episode ("Blue Birthday") and the fourth episode ("A Great Detective Comes to Light"), which means it is Akako's birthday (though Saguru gets there just in time, unlike canon!Kaito) and Kaito appears, though he cannot outsmart Saguru and does not even come close to it.

The highly brilliant and scarily gifted magician Saguru Hakuba (also known as Quicksilver, the intertemporal gentleman thief, but no one in his class knows _that_ important fact, although Akako suspects, though she would never tell anyone that, for reasons that will be revealed later) was very highly nervous, because it was his first day of school at a new school, a high school, when he had started school in college. It was December second. His best friend since the cradle, Akako Koizumi was nervous for much the same reasons _and_ it was her seventeenth birthday and the anniversary of her parents' deaths. But he had to go on with his ordinary school routine, so he flipped Akako's skirt, like he did every single day of school. And like _she_ did every single day of school, Akako said, "Saguru, you are an idiot!" and chased him around the classroom with a broomstick, which was not enchanted, because she is not a witch, though she _is_ secretly a detective, which no one knows at this point in time and space. And then the very highly brilliant teacher, Ms. Keoko Yamada, thinking that it would catch them off-guard, asked in her most polite yet irritated and frozen tone of voice, "Mr. Hakuba, could you _please_ tell me what the answer to the first question on the board is?" (The question that was on the board was what does twenty-one times two equal.)

"Okay, if you want me to, Ms. Yamada. The answer to your question is forty-two." Saguru said politely and cheerfully, with that ever-so-slightly _off_ -normal smile and strange look in his eyes that comes of seeing someone that you love murdered before your eyes ( _that look_ lingers until you die and sometimes never goes away), which Ms. Yamada knew, as she used to be a psychiatrist before she became a teacher (she stopped being a psychiatrist because she saw her beloved younger brother Hanataro die before her eyes, ironically enough), and however hard she tried, she could never stop automatically diagnosing people when she saw that they had mental issues, because it was a skill ingrained since she was in her teens.

"Miss Koizumi, could you _please_ tell me what the answer to the second question on the board is?" Ms. Yamada said, frozen and polite and irritated tone turned up a notch even higher, if that was even _possible_ , because Akako was the one who attempted to do violence to another student, even if it was just mock-violence.

"The answer is thirteen, Ms. Yamada," said Akako Koizumi, in her extremely calm and very highly frozen voice that she used when she was trying to calm herself down from a towering fury.

A few hours later:

"School's out for the week!" sang Saguru _extremely_ hyper-cheerfully (far _too_ cheerfully, most people who did not know him would say), while Akako looked at him like he was _really_ totally and completely _insane_ , which she did quite frequently, so that she could keep up a semblance of her normalcy even when _her_ sanity was shattering into sand-sized tiny grains which are totally useless to your mind (which it currently was not, actually, but you should know). And then they went to go have very, very highly sugary ice cream together, he got a very large, quadruple-scoop chocolate-chip-cookie-dough and vanilla-caramel-peanut-butter ice cream and she got a very large, quadruple-scoop peppermint-pistachio-chocolate and coffee-lemon-strawberry ice cream, after they finished their ice creams they went home after he promised her that he would visit her house before the next day, her to her very creepy-to-most- _normal_ -people, highly skeleton-filled, _far_ too-big house to spend some quiet time doing her homework and reading (and secretly being the famous intertemporal detective Rei Misosazai, like he is to thieves, she is to detectives), him to his mansion to prepare for his latest heist and facing off against the Kaitou Task Force. (It was unofficially called the Kaitou Task Force, and not the Kaitou _Kid_ Task Force, because Quicksilver was the Kaitou Kid's apprentice and made his first appearance two to two and a half years before the Kaitou Kid disappeared, on the police's rough approximation of what his personal timeline is in linear time, which is surprisingly correct, for something created by people who could not figure out who Quicksilver is, though they see him rather frequently, as his mother is friends with quite a few members of the Scotland Yard and with Inspector Nakamori, so that she can **successfully** attempt to convince them that she is not the Scarlet Sorceress. And there are very few people who resemble him.)

 _Exactly_ and precisely seven minutes and seventeen seconds before eleven (twenty-four fifty-three and forty-three seconds on a twenty-four-hour clock _precisely_ , because Quicksilver [even as the irritating, strange, and usually rather humorous magician Saguru Hakuba] measures time very hyper-precisely when he is not speaking in riddles) on the second of October, also known to Quicksilver for this night only as pre-heist-preparation-for-the-Kaitou-Task-Force time:

Quicksilver had disguised himself as a member of the Kaitou Task Force, which they _really_ should have figured out that he would do, if they had studied anything at all about Quicksilver's modus operandi when they received his heist note for "the really, really blue and extremely sparkly rock born an hour before the moment in between the second and the third date of the spookiest month of the year." (A.k.a the Blue Birthday at eleven o'clock, if you translate it into layman's terms.)

The rather hyperintelligent kaitou Quicksilver drank a very large cup of cookie-dough-flavored coffee with far more sugar than would be strictly good for him if his brain did not require far much more sugar than the normal human brain to process as fast as it did or his body did not have such a fast metabolism and have to perform near-superhuman feats on a daily basis, and then he drank another.

"There. A few minutes to go until it is time to start the show, ladies and gentlemen," Quicksilver said, smile managing to be slightly more _off_ -normal than it was as Saguru Hakuba, but no one at all heard what he said, and if they had they would not have had his secret identity to compare it to, anyways. And besides, Quicksilver's speech is always hyper-precise, so obviously it was not him speaking, right?

Quicksilver faintly smiled the _very_ faintest ghost of a smile, ' _he loved being in disguise_ , _it was_ so _fun, like sneaking around, except you did not have to have to worry about being caught if your disguise was good enough, which his usually was, as he had been working on his disguises since the age of six. And anyways, if and when your disguise falls through, that is when the chase begins, and you get to frustrate your chasers with a fantastic escape,'_ he thought very slightly giddily, with that self-same ghostly smile.

"Okay, now it is showtime, ladies and gentlemen," he said, shedding his disguise so that the chase could begin, after all he had _heard stories_ about the teenage detective who was assisting the Task Force. Maybe he could provide a challenge.

So, then the Task Force tried to get him by dogpiling on him (at Inspector Nakamori's orders, of course), but he dodged while taunting them more than a bit too sunnily (because _that detective_ was an _actual challenge_ for his skills, which made him grin) and got away with the Blue Birthday, and the Black Organization shot at him, but he dodged the bullets with a smile and got home safely. Quicksilver noted, ' _The Falcon Detective of Japan is really as good as people say, because he is the only detective that I have met that could provide me with an actual challenge since I was_ eight _. A_ very _, very_ _highly brilliant eight, granted, but still just a_ child _. And now, after eight years, I have faced off against my godbrother, who is a real challenge to me. And was going to be going to school with him. Well, this should be_ interesting. _And now it is time to go to bed._ After _I visit Akako for her birthday.'_

Saguru changed into his normal clothes and visited Akako's house ten minutes before midnight, precisely.

"Hi, Saguru," Akako said, a wan smile on her face, tired almost beyond human comprehension, as she had stayed up _very_ late the the night before brushing up on her Japanese, as neither she nor Saguru had been to Japan for years. _And_ it was the anniversary of her parents death in about ten minutes.

"Hi, Akako, my best and oldest friend. I am sorry that I'm late, but I was unavoidably detained by your Fire Elf friends, as they wanted to try to kill me again, even after I saved their lives one thousand, three hundred, and thirteen times that have not been cancelled out yet," Saguru said slightly awkwardly, but very highly charmingly (a seven on the International Standard One to Ten Scale of Charmingness), with the slightest touch of irritation at the end, pulling Akako's birthday present from behind his back (or up his sleeve) with a native magician's showmanship fully in evidence, even when he was not putting on a magic show or even covertly engaging in phantom-thievery.

" _Oh_! *Eyes widen very, very slightly more than they already were.* A silvery-blue-green journal with pine-needle-scented pages and a set of _very_ lovely and ever-so-flawlessly crafted calligraphy pens and richly colored inks, complete with slightly lemon-and-peppermint-scented knockout darts! Thank you _very_ , very much, Rili'dice! I have not been able to find another set since I wore my old one out. But how did you find more of my very-much-beloved, for self-defense purposes only, scented knockout darts? No, wait, I already know, you found them on the black market, didn't you? I _should_ be ashamed to be friends with you, but I know far too well from extensive experience all over the time-space continuum that the black market is a fixture of every single civilization all over time and space throughout the multiverse. And, besides, we have been the best of friends since the cradle. Even if our friendship has a foundation of secrets and lies on both sides of the equation, Saguru, it is still a friendship. I am just making sure that you do not decide to try to break our friendship _just_ because you do not understand how it works, because however abnormal our friendship is, I value it," Akako said, happily and excitedly at first, then a more-than- _just_ -slightly lecturing tone of voice, and then becoming _very_ , very serious. (So serious that it reminded Saguru sharply that the extremely tragic death [ _actually_ , it was a murder but that had not yet been discovered by the police, Saguru, or anyone working with either one of them at that point in time] of her parents affected her _very much_ more than she would ever admit. But he pretended to shrug it off because _she_ pretended to shrug off the fact that _he_ was _far_ more affected by his father's death [which he knew was murder] than he ever admitted.)

"Please _do not_ call me Rili'dice! You _know_ **exactly** how very, very much I hate _that nickname_! And you know that the only reason that I go by Rili'dice online is because no one would guess that I would go by it! The fact that you at certain times change your emotions so quickly is slightly scary, you know that, right, Akako? But you can rest assured that I value your friendship _far_ too much to destroy it _simply_ because I still, after all of the years that we have been friends, do not really understand the rules to our very, very strange and bizarre friendship at all, which is actually rather fun in a rather chaotic way. And after all, having a good friend who understands the importance of secrets is an extremely rare thing. And it is after midnight, so I should _probably_ go home now, because we have school tomorrow, and falling asleep at school is very, very highly ill-advised, especially when it is in your first week at a new school, you know, Akako," Saguru said, at the beginning having a _very_ , very great deal of most-hated-nickname irritation, but for the most part being very serious, only regaining his usual jokey mask at the end, for the most part, anyways. Then he walked home and did not oversleep, a habit which he had carefully cultivated over years of phantom-thievery, falling into the Wizard101 universe (in which he is the very highly intelligent and seemingly more-than-slightly insane Storm Wizard Delwyn Hadriannisus Spannerworks and Akako is the extremely brilliant and seemingly more than a bit off her rocker Life Wizard Viridian Alzarianna Scarlettree), and late-night sleepovers with Akako, which actually captures quite a large amount of his childhood in one single sentence.


End file.
